NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

Many homes operate from a basis of fear and performance, focusing on right knowledge and right behavior. If that's all we want from our kids (right knowledge and right behavior), perhaps a fear-based or performance-based system is what the doctor ordered.

Often I have discovered the most important thing to me when my kids are with me in public is that they behave correctly—that's my bottom line—because if they don't they might display what a horrible job I'm doing as a parent. If no one acts up in a major way, I chalk it up to success.

But a child can easily perform the right way while his heart remains bound by darkness.

When we think about it, don't we really want kids who desire to obey, who love us, and who demonstrates an inner strength of character which will govern them even as they leave the constant influence of our home's rules? There's the rub, as Shakespeare might say.

How does God parent? How does God deal with us, His sons and daughters? Does He not lead us with copious amounts of grace?

John 1.14 says the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and His glory was "full of grace and truth." Three verses later John compared Moses with Jesus: "For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." Jesus did not only embody truth but also grace. When we speak to one another, Paul instructs us to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4.14).

Does that sound like your home? Are you parenting from an attitude of grace and love? Introspectively, I look back and realize I often have not been. Many times I have spoken harshly with my children because they were not following my laws to the standard I'd like. The clothes they hang up in the closets are wonky. They don't fold my socks and...ahem...other things correctly before stuffing them in my drawer. They don't scrape the dishes well enough before putting them in the dishwasher, so we sometimes have to re-wash. They daydream when they're supposed to be doing their school work, and it takes SO MUCH LONGER than it should! They don't answer me back respectfully enough.

I'm not sure I speak the truth in love often enough. I'm not sure my speech is always "what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers" (Eph. 4.29).

As I think of my failings as a parent, I think about how God deals with me IN my failings. Does He speak harshly to me? Does He make my life miserable? Does He constantly remind me I'm a failure, or does He constantly encourage me to do better, assuring me that He still loves me, accepts me, and will not forsake me? The latter is the truth. If God deals with me with such grace, should I not then fill my own home with grace?

¹² Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, ¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Jesus said as he stood before Pilate, "You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice."

Pilate replied, "What is truth?" And he walked out. John 18.37-38

My generation and the next have abandoned truth. The majority have walked out on Jesus and refuse to listen to Him.

What is truth? Do you know what it is? Do you care to know? Do you believe in truth?

People hate truth. They hate Jesus because He speaks truth. They hate Christians because we teach the truth Jesus taught us.

Truth can hurt. It's like looking in a mirror. Little hairs are growing in places we didn't expect. That mole hasn't shrunk. Our eyes are not quite symmetrical. Our deficiencies and imperfections stare back at us.

Truth hurts because it means there is a right and a wrong. We always want to be right, but Truth intrudes and exposes our biases, our faults, our ignorance. We'd rather remain foolish than be proven wrong.

If you are interested in Truth, you are interested in Facts. You want to know exactly what happened so you can make a proper judgment. People don't seem to care about Facts these days. If a study published by Random University supports your ideas or desires, are you quick to share it? Or do you first research to verify its claims? If someone posts a picture or video on social media which supports your favorite cause or political leaning, are you quick to share? Or do you first double-check sources to make sure you are sharing Facts?

In our highly-polarized political climate, we should exercise extreme caution to speak only facts and truth. Do not share things which you don’t know are true. Especially if someone writes or posts something sensational that gets you fired up, take time to consider before lending your support and passing it along. Is it true? Is it right? Is it helpful?

Jesus stood before Pilate and told him about Truth. Those who love Truth love Jesus. I mean spiritual truth: the Truth of the gospel, the Facts of the Creator, the Reality of King Jesus.

But most join Pilate and walk away scoffing, "What is truth?"

Fact: On the last day, the words Jesus has spoken will judge ALL those who reject Him (John 12.48).

You say, "But I don't believe in Jesus." Your belief doesn't change the Facts. Please understand this vital point. You can believe in Santa Clause, but that doesn't make him exist. You can disbelieve in an objective morality, but that doesn't make it vanish.

You say, "But I don't feel like God exists." Facts don't care about our feelings. Feelings change nothing. You can feel that someone is a murderer and a rapist—that doesn't make it true. You can be a murderer and rapist and feel like you're not guilty of anything—that doesn't justify you.

If you are interested in Truth, search for and examine Facts. Pay close attention to them. Submit to them. Once you discover it, don't lie against the Truth by living contrary to it. The most important Truth everyone on earth needs to discover is that Jesus Christ is the Sovereign Lord. The Truth of His lordship carries eternal consequences.

As a teenager, I recall a strong desire to be free of my parents’ command and overwatch. If only I could do what I wanted when I wanted—how wonderful would that be?

As a parent, I now explain to my kids what my parents taught me. They cannot be free until they take full responsibility for their own person and actions. Many adults today do not live free lives because they do not control themselves.

As a martial artist, I train not to control others but to control myself. When you try to control others, you lose control of yourself. When you focus on self-control, you deny others the ability to control you.

Self-control is the root of freedom, and that is why so many people who live in “the land of the free” are virtual slaves: slaves to government, slaves to media, slaves to bosses, slaves to vices and addictions, slaves to spouses, slaves to children.

Have you ever seen a parent plodding through the grocery isles with boisterous children yapping, tugging, and demanding this bag of chips, that ice cream, and peperoni pizza? The haggard parent looks like she is about to either explode or cry—maybe both. That is not a picture of freedom. If the mother had control of herself, she would address the situation in a calm, straightforward manner, but she either doesn’t know how or hasn’t the energy.

On a political level, freedom comes from taking responsibility for your own life and actions. When we believe our rights and gifts come from the government, we endow the government with godhood and make it an idol! Law does not give grace, but it does punish the evildoer.

Can you still be free while living under an oppressive regime? Absolutely you can. You must take responsibility on yourself for your own protection and to take care of your own family. You must live righteously even when others aren’t. You must play the man.

Paul still was free in Christ while in physical prison, listing his imprisonment under the category of God’s grace (Phil. 1.7)! Amazingly, Paul enjoyed contentment even when he was brought low, in need, and hungry (Phil. 4.11–13). True freedom is complete contentment in Christ Jesus no matter what may come at you in life.

This is how we should understand freedom in Christ. “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5.1). “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Gal. 5.13–14). Paul says you should “walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal. 5.16), and “if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law” (Gal. 5.18).

Walking by the Spirit of God equals walking in freedom. Walking in freedom equals not being under law. No one who does the works of the flesh is free; he remains a slave. Christ has set us free not to follow our flesh but to walk in righteousness!

Satan tricks us into thinking we are NOT free if we are “not allowed” to engage in sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, etc. Satan whispers to someone, “Did God really tell you not to slap that jerk across the face? God must not want you to feel how awesome it is to stand up for yourself.” He slithers over to the next person and says, “Did God really say not to touch that woman? I can’t believe He is keeping so many wonderful things from you.” And we begin to believe God has designs to make our lives miserable, when, in fact, God knows the moment we slap the jerk or touch the woman we enter a pathway of death and destruction, becoming slaves of our passions and of Satan’s influences.

As Independence Day rolls around, think about true freedom. Thank God for setting you free in Christ. Commit to live a healthy life free from sin. Do not let the media, your boss, your children, the government, or even your own flesh control you. You control you, God’s Holy Spirit controls you, and that’s the only way to be truly free.

According to Romans 5, there are two kinds of people: those who are in Christ and those who are in Adam. We cannot necessarily tell who is which, but God did give us external fruit by which to judge and evaluate.

From Jesus’ parable in Matthew 13, you might say there are four kinds of people because of His story about four soils. But how many of those soils supported plants which bore fruit? Only one. The other three describe three flavors of being unfruitful sons of Adam.

The next parable in Matthew 13.24ff compares good seed with weeds sown by an enemy. The land owner said to let both grow together until harvest, at which time they would be separated—the good to be saved and the weeds to be burned. “The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one” (Matt. 13.38). Jesus was describing two kinds of people in the world. But hadn’t Jesus begun His parable, “The kingdom of heaven is like...”? Indeed, Jesus reigns over the world, and His kingdom comprises all nations under heaven.

Jesus also told the parable of the dragnet in Matthew 13.47ff, in which a net gathered fish “of every kind.” Then they sorted the fish, but only into two sets: good ones and bad ones. Saving the good ones in containers, they threw the bad away. Possibly this parallels the parable of the weeds, but it seems more likely the net represents the visible church, for these fish were gathered out of all the rest of the fish of the sea. Even within what we understand to be Christianity, the Church, the Body of Christ, “the angels will come forth and remove the wicked from among the righteous” (Matt. 13.49).

No matter how you cut it, only two kinds of people walk this earth. Which group are you in? How can you tell? Can you be sure?

Jesus said good trees bear good fruit (Matt. 7.17–20). A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. The tree may be ugly, growing at an odd angle, split in half by a lightning bolt, but its fruit determines what kind of tree it is.

Maybe you have been through hell on earth, have a past riddled with trouble and sin, have walked in foolishness and darkness in years gone by—but what are you now? Are you bearing fruit for Jesus now?

What fruit is Jesus talking about? “The one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven,” Jesus said (not the one who merely claims to do it).

Are you doing the Father’s will? If your next questing is, “How much of the Father’s will must I do to qualify?” you miss the point! Do you want to do His will? Do you strive to do His will? Does your conscience prick you when you don’t do His will?

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
    And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6.8)

King Saul and King David illustrate these two kinds of people.

Saul started out looking good (handsome, humble, strong, went to battle for the people). He sinned, and when confronted, he became sorrowful.

David started out looking good (handsome, humble, strong, went to battle for the people). He sinned, and when confronted, he became sorrowful.

But God rejected Saul and loved David. What made the difference? Saul indeed sorrowed, but he had to be pushed into admitting his sin, and even then he seemed more upset in losing his position and taking his punishment than in losing his relationship with the Lord (1 Sam. 15.24–34). On the other hand, David’s heart immediately crumbled when confronted with his sin (2 Sam. 12.13). He wrote, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge,” and “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me” (Psalm 51.4, 11).

Paul later distinguished, “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor. 7.10). Saul had worldly grief; David had godly grief.

There are two kinds of people.

When your child complains about the food you just spent an hour fixing for him and you don’t blow a gasket…

When your friend calls you in the middle of a great movie, but you answer anyway because you know she is going through a tough time…

When your neighbor throws a party, ten cars are parked across from your driveway, you are late for an appointment, you can barely squeeze your car out, and you choose to not even curse your neighbor in your heart…

When your spouse is hot on your case because you obviously failed to do what you should have done, and you could bring up that time last week that would cancel it out, but you choose to say instead, “Yes, Dear, I’m sorry…”

When your sister talks at you in that tone for the thousandth time today, and you decide to overlook it again…

When you try to have a tough conversation, and it’s not received well, but you choose to keep praying for the other person…

When you give your body and your time to bringing children into the world, keep them alive, take them to school and sports and the doctor and church and their friends’ houses, teach them to dress themselves and brush their teeth and make a sandwich and navigate friendships and drive a car, and they don’t seem to appreciate you as much as they should, but you keep doing it wholeheartedly…

When you still have a year before you’ll have that credit card paid off, and your friend at church tells you he just retired and is looking forward to seeing the world and doing all the exciting things, and you smile and genuinely rejoice with him…

When you are having a bad day, and someone comes to you with her own bad news, and you put your arm around her and cry with her without even bringing up your own miseries…

When you stumble off the path and collapse, and God listens to your cries for help, helps you to your feet, and puts you back on the right way, even though you just did the same thing yesterday…

When His enemies spat on Him, mocked Him, drove a thorny crown into His skull, beat Him over the head, viciously scourged Him, and forced Him to carry His own cross, and Jesus never once complained…

When He hung on the cross, and nasty little men yelled at Him to come down if He was the Son of God, and He could have pulverized them with a thought or a simple word, but instead He said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing…”

…that’s love.

1 Corinthians 13.4–8