NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

The woman depicted at the end of Proverbs 31 is fictitious. That is not to say she cannot be found or does not exist in many hard-working women across the centuries, but the wisdom writer wrote of the ideal woman.

Solomon wrote most of Proverbs, and his stated intent was to help his reader know wisdom and instruction and to understand words of insight (Prov. 1.2). He wrote as a father to a son, and much of the wisdom found in the book guides a young man away from the pitfalls and traps of the adulterous woman of folly and towards lady wisdom. The first nine chapters instruct with a unified voice, “Listen to Wisdom; she desires your good! Flee the adulterous woman; the path to her house is the path to hell.”

The book begins with Lady Wisdom (Prov. 1.20–23; 3.13–18; 4.5–9; 8.1–9.12) who wants to care for young men and provide them healthy living, and it closes with a marvelous description of a woman who would make an excellent wife. The Proverbs 31 woman is Lady Wisdom incarnate.

Her husband trusts her with everything. He knows she will not squander their money. Instead of wasting wealth, she contributes to the household income streams.

She skillfully makes things for her household: plenteous food, fine garments, lovely bed coverings. Not only does she make them for her household, she also sells them and gives to the poor. She manages a house which provides—largely because she works hard to make sure these things happen. She purchases land and cultivates a vineyard. In a word, she is fruitful.

What can we say of her character? She diligently rises before the sun to accomplish her daily work and works into the night by lamplight. She “dresses herself with strength…strength and dignity are her clothing.” She “laughs at the time to come,” which expresses not only her sense of well-being but also her joyfulness in the face of uncertainty. Because she is prepared, she can laugh.

In the center of the poem we find, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.” Taking nothing away from his character and work-ethic, we understand this note is not about him—it’s about how his excellent wife has been a great force behind his respected status. As husband and wife are one flesh, we observe in this couple a mutual, harmonious, synergetic relationship where each blesses the other, and God works powerfully between them.

The poem begins with the heart of the husband trusting in her and ends with the husband praising her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

But the key to everything lies in one of the last statements: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” The secret to all is in the fear of the LORD! Indeed, what an excellent way to end the book of Proverbs…much as it was begun, for we read in Proverbs 1.7, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.”

May my sons each find a woman who they can trust their hearts to. May my daughter become one of these excellent women. God has blessed me to be married to an excellent wife who is worth more to me than any amount of wealth.

These women aren’t found under every rock; they are uncommon. You will not find an excellent woman among people who do not fear the LORD, so only look there! Realize, also, that women grow into this kind of strength and dignity. Proverbs 31 shows a woman who has been diligently working, building, and growing for many years, a picture of long-term walking with God. Again, this is an ideal woman—no one will look exactly like this—but find you a woman (or be a woman) who wants to look like this.

Praise God for excellent wives!

Abraham was chosen for a purpose. In Genesis 18.19, God took counsel with Himself concerning Abraham,

“For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has promised him.”

God did not say this about Sarah, though she was an essential helper to Abraham in this mission. God spoke to the fathers, and the fathers, then, carried the responsibility of teaching God’s word and God’s ways to their households.

God wants a righteous and just people, and Abraham’s responsibility was to guide his family along that righteous way. But it was for a singular purpose: so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what He has promised him.

What Had the Lord Promised?

A Multitude of Nations!

Part of the promise is found in Genesis 17.4: “Behold, My covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations.” And in 17.6, “I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make you into nations, and kings shall come from you.”

A Land!

Another part of the covenant is found in Genesis 17.8: “And I will give to you and to your offspring after you the land of your sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession, and I will be their God.”

A Seed!

A third and the greatest part of the covenant is found in Genesis 22.18: “And in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.”

How Does Circumcision Fit?

In Genesis 17, God gave Abraham the sign of the covenant—circumcision.

Often I have wondered why God chose this as the sign. Noah’s sign was a rainbow in the heavens. Abraham’s sign was trimming the foreskin off the male organ. The first seems wonderful, grand, and glorious; the second seems a tad barbaric.

But observe the significance of the sign; it has to do with the male organ which passes the seed along. All the promises to Abraham had to do with bearing a son, who would bear more sons, who would eventually become a great nation. God desires godly offspring (Malachi 2.15).

In the New Testament, Paul writes of circumcision being a “putting off the body of the flesh” (Col. 2.11); in other words, the cutting of the flesh symbolized purification, a removal of sin. To Abraham and the Israelites, circumcision signified keeping the seed-line pure, anticipating the growth of their nation and eventually their coming Messiah.

Circumcision also points back to God’s original mandate to mankind in general: be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.

Circumcision Today

In Deuteronomy, twice God speaks to Israel about circumcising their hearts.

Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stubborn. (Deut. 10.16)

And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live. (Deut. 30.6)

The New Testament continues the idea of circumcising the heart. In the face of intense opposition, Stephen bravely dressed them down, saying, “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you” (Acts 7.51). Paul wrote of those who were truly Jews: “But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God” (Rom. 2.29). In Philippians 3.3, he distinguishes between those who simply mutilate the flesh and those who walk by faith: “For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh.” Colossians 2.11 may be the clearest of his teachings on the spiritual nature of circumcision today:

“In Him [Christ] also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised with Him through faith in the powerful working of God who raised Him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross” (Col. 2.11–14).

So there remains a parallel sign today for the Christian, and that sign is baptism, the sign of the New Covenant. Baptism signifies a washing away of sin (Acts 22.16; 1 Cor. 6.11) and a death, burial, and resurrection with Christ (Rom. 6.1–4; Col. 2.12).

The sign of the Old Covenant pointed forward to the Seed of Promise, to Christ, and the sign of the New Covenant points backward to the work of Christ in the cross and His resurrection for the forgiveness of our sins.

In every case it’s about Christ Jesus our Lord!

The cross offended some false teachers in Galatia, against whom Paul strongly preached. Jews had infiltrated the churches. They claimed to be Christians, but they brought a twisted, corrupted, distorted gospel with them (Gal. 1.6-9) as they attempted to bind the Gentile Christians under a host of Jewish laws which Christ had already eliminated through the cross.

Circumcision is not a sin. Paul was circumcised (Phil. 3.5), and he even had Timothy circumcised for practical reasons (Acts 16.3), so he wasn't condemning the actual act. He condemned it as a religious ritual as the Jews were teaching; they commanded all Christian men to be circumcised to be right with God, making it a prerequisite to salvation.

In addition to circumcision, they also insisted Christians keep special Jewish feast days (Gal. 4.10), adding them onto the list of things necessary for salvation. In other words, the Jewish Christians wouldn't really accept the Gentile Christians as brothers until they measured up to their list of laws and demands.

Why did the cross offend these Jews? Paul preached against circumcision for salvation and that keeping the ceremonial and civil aspects of the Law of Moses is now unnecessary under Christ! He preached that Jesus abolished the Old Law and clearly stated that salvation is by faith in Christ apart from works of the law (Gal. 2.15-16). In fact, "if justification were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose" (Gal. 2.21), and "if a law had been given that could give life, then righteousness would indeed be by the law" (Gal. 3.21). But now that faith has come, we are no longer under the guardianship of the law (Gal. 3.25).

Christ has set us free in order that we may experience true freedom (Gal. 5.1). He has freed us from sin and law. The law binds us under sin, so Christ had to abolish the law so we might be perfectly free from sin! This is grace.

But grace offends the legalist (who believes he is saved by keeping a law) because grace says we are not saved by our work of keeping law; we are saved by Christ's work of keeping the law and His sufficient sacrifice on the cross on our behalf. Just as the cross offended the Jews because it did away with their law, the cross offends legalists today because it does away with their law.

Who gets to make the list of laws which are necessary for entering into the kingdom of heaven? Only God holds that position. Is there a law Jesus expects us to submit to? Absolutely! If you don't think so, you should read Matthew 5-7, Romans 6, James, and Galatians 5-6. But Jesus clarifies our relationship to law—law doesn't save; He does. We keep His law because we are His children, not to make ourselves His children.

The legalist lists actions and teachings which will keep a person out of heaven. Many such lists have been made which exceed the boundaries of gospel-level issues, and those lists divide good-hearted brethren. The legalist believes that eating (or not eating) certain meats will keep you out of heaven (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8). The legalist believes that observing (or not observing) certain special religious days will annul your salvation. The legalist believes you must add this or subtract that from your life in order to be saved. Their additions to the gospel divide and do violence to the body of Christ! And that's why Paul so vigorously opposed the mindset of legalism.

Paul could have made a long list to show why he was "qualified" to be saved, but he counted all his so-called qualifications as loss, he said, "for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I my gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith..." (Phil. 3.2-10).

Let us refrain from binding fellow Christians to our lists of laws! If Christ said to do it, then we shall do it. If Christ said to avoid it, then we shall avoid it. But let's not add to or subtract from what He has said, and let us not think that we are saved by keeping His laws. We've been saved in order that we might keep His laws. There's a big difference, and that difference has eternal consequences (Gal. 5.4)!

Here we are at a new beginning, the Lord’s Day rightly being the fountainhead from which flows the rest of life. Worshipers bowed low and paid homage to the Creator of all things. From their mouths gushed praise and confession. Preachers exposited the word of God to assemblies of saints, who had come to drink deeply from the well of the Holy Spirit. Brothers and sisters encouraged one another in the Lord, ate together, prayed together, and made plans for the week’s work.

What shall we do with this week? What shall we do to honor and glorify God? How shall we work? What shall be our priorities?

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3.17)

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Cor. 10.31)

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength which God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Pet. 4.10–11)

Since an elder’s job is to care for the household of God, it is important he first show himself to be a good manager in his home, which means he must have a home to manage. An elder should not be a single man who has had no children. He should have a wife (he must be a one-woman-man) and should have demonstrated an ability to keep his children in submission and manage them well.

Paul wrote to Timothy: “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Tim 3.4–5 ESV).

The phrase “with all dignity” gives us an interesting picture, doesn’t it? The sweet lady who runs our homeschool group recently said she always takes prospective families to the park to interview them before she decides if she will accept them onto her campus. At the park, she watches how the kids interact with their parents and with each other, and she reasons that if they are wild and disobedient at the park, they will probably be that way on campus, too. Likewise, if they are sweet and obedient, she can probably expect that behavior. If we were to visit a man’s home and find his children do not respect him and are rowdy and rambunctious, it reveals how he has managed his home.

Paul told Titus an elder should have “faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination” (Tit. 1.6 NKJV). The word for “faithful” here is the Greek term pista, which is an adjective translated several ways in the New Testament. It is most often translated “faithful” or “trustworthy,” though it does, at times, refer to someone who is faithful in the sense of being a believer in Christ. For several reasons, I believe the proper understanding here is that the children are “faithful” in the sense of being “trustworthy,” and Paul further defined what he meant: a faithful child is one who is “not accused of dissipation or insubordination.”

Paul goes on, in his next sentence, to say, “For a bishop must be blameless, as a steward of God…” If a man has children who party, drink, carouse, act out sexually, etc., they blemish their father’s name. You can think of some of our public servants in offices all the way up the President whose children mar the family name. If a man’s children are causing problems in the community, it’s harder to consider the man blameless—not that he has necessarily committed any sin, but it seems evident that he has left some things undone in his family.

Our society is different than Paul’s. Our children often not only leave home but also the area. As an example, my dad lives and worships with a church in north Alabama. His three sons have never lived in that area since we left home. If one of his adult sons causes trouble in a different city and a different state, it may or may not reflect on him. That would be something the church would need to consider if they were deciding whether to appoint him an elder. If the adult son were in the same town and the community knew him and his father, his immorality and the trouble he caused would probably reflect on the father.

If a man still has children in his home, it is easier to determine how he manages his home, the relationship he has with his children, how he guides and interacts with them. But if all the children have left home, many in the church may not even know who his children are. How should we examine this man? God expects us to use good judgment, so we might ask some questions. Has he raised kids? How does he think he did? What does his wife think? Do his kids love him or hate him now; what kind of relationship does he maintain with his adult children? Would any of his kids cause their father’s name (and thus the name of Christ) to be blemished in this church and community? Would anyone have just cause to say he cannot be considered blameless in this matter?

Having faithful children is an important qualification for a man who would be an elder in God’s church. However, it is but one qualification among many. We should look at the overall character of the man and use wisdom and sound judgment with the full direction of God’s word. And pray for wisdom! May God be glorified.