NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

Simon, a Pharisee, invited Jesus to his house. There he was, sharing his table with this great Rabbi (and perhaps other Jews of significance and notoriety), when some random woman of the city (a dirty, rotten sinner, at that) came in with a flask of alabaster ointment. What a scene that must have been! Why would such a woman interrupt their meal. The riffraff were welcome to stand at the windows and hang around to hear the men converse at the big-boy table, but she dared to come in and even touch this Rabbi.

Her tears cascaded over Jesus’ feet, and she wiped them away with her hair. Why did she use her hair? Why not her skirt or a towel? That seems rather personal. Then she poured some of that alabaster oil on his feet. How odd, right?

I’ve never had anyone, let alone a random woman, come mess with my feet before—not while I was eating nor at any other time. It would make me uncomfortable. And if I knew the woman grabbing my feet were also a woman of the night or of some such unsavory occupation, that would increase my anxiety and concern. What would people think of me? What business would she have coming so near and being so bold?

Simon had these sorts of thoughts. Why would this great Rabbi allow her to touch him, especially knowing what kind of a sinner she was?

Jesus had some words for Simon. He told him about two debtors, one who owed 500 denarii and another who owed 50 to the same moneylender. The moneylender forgave both debts, so Jesus’ question was, “Now which of them will love him more?” Simon knew, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” Correct.

Then Jesus dropped a bomb on Simon. “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.”

Not only did Jesus praise the woman, He pointed out the lack of hospitality Simon had shown him. It was basic hospitality for a Jew to wash the feet of those whom he invited to his house. To not offer a foot washing was almost to say, “You’re not worth it.” On the other hand, nothing was expected of this woman. She wasn’t expected to show hospitality, yet she poured out her gifts—what she had—to the Lord. Apparently, she did not feel right touching Jesus’ head, but she lowered herself to touch his feet.

Simon, a leader of the Jews, did not identify himself as a sinner, of needing forgiveness, or of needing Jesus. In fact, he probably had invited Jesus to demonstrate his magnanimity and score a few political points.

The woman knew she was a sinner (probably was often told and treated as such), so she came to Jesus humbly in pennant posture. She asked nothing, expected nothing, bringing a gift to bless this great man.

The point of Jesus’ parable is that she loved him more because she had such a realistic view of her sins, which were many, and she received Jesus, believing what he preached. Simon did not love Jesus much because he had an unrealistic accounting of his sins, which also were many, and he did not receive Jesus even when he had the perfect opportunity.

“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven,” Jesus said, “for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” He said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven,” and then, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

Sweeter words she never heard! To the one who understands the depths of his or her sin and goes to Jesus, that one will receive his love and forgiveness.

But to the one who just invites Jesus into his house from time to time to hang out with everyone else, that one does not know the Lord. He will not receive forgiveness but should expect the Lord’s judgment on the last day.

Know your sins. Receive Jesus like the humble, contrite, worshipful woman.

When your child complains about the food you just spent an hour fixing for him and you don’t blow a gasket…

When your friend calls you in the middle of a great movie, but you answer anyway because you know she is going through a tough time…

When your neighbor throws a party, ten cars are parked across from your driveway, you are late for an appointment, you can barely squeeze your car out, and you choose to not even curse your neighbor in your heart…

When your spouse is hot on your case because you obviously failed to do what you should have done, and you could bring up that time last week that would cancel it out, but you choose to say instead, “Yes, Dear, I’m sorry…”

When your sister talks at you in that tone for the thousandth time today, and you decide to overlook it again…

When you try to have a tough conversation, and it’s not received well, but you choose to keep praying for the other person…

When you give your body and your time to bringing children into the world, keep them alive, take them to school and sports and the doctor and church and their friends’ houses, teach them to dress themselves and brush their teeth and make a sandwich and navigate friendships and drive a car, and they don’t seem to appreciate you as much as they should, but you keep doing it wholeheartedly…

When you still have a year before you’ll have that credit card paid off, and your friend at church tells you he just retired and is looking forward to seeing the world and doing all the exciting things, and you smile and genuinely rejoice with him…

When you are having a bad day, and someone comes to you with her own bad news, and you put your arm around her and cry with her without even bringing up your own miseries…

When you stumble off the path and collapse, and God listens to your cries for help, helps you to your feet, and puts you back on the right way, even though you just did the same thing yesterday…

When His enemies spat on Him, mocked Him, drove a thorny crown into His skull, beat Him over the head, viciously scourged Him, and forced Him to carry His own cross, and Jesus never once complained…

When He hung on the cross, and nasty little men yelled at Him to come down if He was the Son of God, and He could have pulverized them with a thought or a simple word, but instead He said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing…”

…that’s love.

1 Corinthians 13.4–8

Picture this: your spouse is not in the room. You're chatting with some friends, and suddenly the conversation turns to spouses. One lady says her husband never considers her feelings anymore—he just does whatever he wants. You commiserate because your husband has lately been getting on your nerves, and several recent episodes tumble from your mouth as you vent your frustration. There! It's been said. You feel better. You can go on with life.

Wrong!

You have just engaged in a bit of character assassination, and it was against the one person who should be closest and dearest to you!

God said in the Ten Commandments: you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

"But what I said wasn't false!" you protest.

Wasn't it, though? Think back on the words used. Did you huff resignedly, "That's just how he is!" Did you insist, "he never..." or "he always..."? Did you allow your frustration to color your language with hyperbole? Did you keep in mind the good he has done for you, or were you only thinking of the recent trouble?

When we use words like never and always, we lie, because it's almost never true! Test it out...

"He never considers my feelings first." That's an animal and not a man you've just described.

"He always throws his dirty socks on the floor." Has he never once hit the laundry basket even by mistake?

"She never wants to do what I want to do." Was that what attracted you to her in the first place?

"She always says just the thing to get on my nerves." And I'm sure you always respond with a gentle answer to turn away her wrath.

Husbands and wives, can we agree that we sometimes do bear false witness against our spouses? We need to quit. It's not healthy, it's lying, and it's sinful.

We ought to remember that our moods change. Murder is committed when people act in the throes of anger. Paul commanded,

"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil" (Ephesians 4.25-27)

All these commandments work together. Anger often prompts us to falsehood as we modify and reshape the truth to serve our own purposes. The best thing to do in our anger is usually BE STILL! Don't act! Wait. Take a breath and count to 10… or 100... or 1,000… whatever it takes to cool off. If we speak in anger and frustration, we are apt to sin.

Next time you feel frustrated with your spouse, try some of these options:

1. Pray about it. Laying the problem out to God often exposes our own faults in the matter. It helps to lay our problem at the feet of the one who loves us most.
2. Don't talk to your spouse immediately. Take some time before you address the problem.
3. Don't complain about your spouse to others.
4. Even while you are upset, do something nice for your spouse—just because.
5. Ask yourself why you feel so strongly about it. Was she intentionally trying to hurt you? Does he even know how what he did or said affects you? Be honest.
6. Pray about it again. Has God revealed anything to you?

I have found most issues tend to vanish given time and breathing room. I'd love to know how this technique works in your relationship.

Anger and lies give the devil a foothold in your life, so always speak the truth with your spouse!

Ephesians 4.29–32

²⁹ Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 5.3–4

³ But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; ⁴ neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

These two verses list many ways we can use our tongues to destroy rather than build, and in them Paul warns against corrupting talk, clamor, slander, filthy talk, foolish talk, and course jesting.

The first set of sins (Eph. 4.29–32) flow from bitter and angry hearts. Our actions follow our heart’s attitude. If we harbor bitterness towards someone, we likely will speak hateful words about them or to them at some point. Evil hearts overflow into evil works.

The second set of sins (Eph. 5.3–4) come from lustful and unclean hearts. Minds saturated in sewage will spew disgusting, disruptive, disturbing speech. Why is potty humor so popular? Why is our gaze so often directed downwards and not upwards? The marriage bed is to be held in honor, but many make it a joke, a punchline, speaking of sex in flippant and irreverent ways.

“To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled” (Titus 1.15).

How do we tackle a profane tongue? How do we raise our speech out of the gutter and onto the highway of holiness? We must direct our hearts to pure and holy things. Instead of angry talk, we should focus on kindness and forgive one another (Eph. 4.32). Instead of filthy talk, we should focus on giving thanks (Eph. 5.4). Imitate God’s character. What would Jesus think, do, and say?

Our speech will always be out of the overflow of our hearts, so we should be directing our hearts to that which is holy, pure, and honorable. May God help us tame our tongues!

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Rom. 12.1-2)

Paul connects Romans 12 ("therefore") to the mountain of previous teaching from Romans 1-11. Before he presents what we should do, Paul deals with great theological truths about what God has already done and how we stand in relation to Him because of our faith in Jesus Christ.

Beyond being merely an intellectual exercise, the renewing of our minds includes actually obeying God--doing that which is good and right--which Paul immediately outlines for us in Romans 12.3-15.7. Here's a quick breakdown of what is covered:

1. Don't think of yourself more highly than you ought; evaluate yourself properly (12.3-8)
2. Love genuinely (12.9-13)
3. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep (12.14-21)
4. Subject yourself to the government (13.1-7)
5. Love your neighbor as yourself (13.8-10)
6. Walk properly, as in the daytime (13.11-14)
7. Welcome the weak in faith (14.1-15.7)

Just about all of this has to do with submitting ourselves to others. How do we actually present our lives as living sacrifices to God and renew our minds? We follow Christ's footsteps (see 13.14; 15.1-13) by assuming the lowest place, subjecting ourselves to every ordinance of God, submitting to one another in love, yielding to our enemies, and welcoming brethren with whom we don't see eye to eye.

Once, a friend asked (in light of the "bearing with the weak in faith" from Romans 14), "How can you know who is the weak brother?"

"Whoever the other guy is, that's the weak one," I jokingly replied.

But silliness aside, I'm pretty sure that is not the question God would have us ask, because if we use Romans 14 to start a big row over who is weak and who is strong, does that not divide rather than unify, as Paul insisted upon?

As I read Romans 12-15, God speaks to me, personally. I know He didn't write Romans directly to me, but I should read it as a message from God to me. In other words, I don't read it to figure out how you ought to change in your actions towards me; rather I read to discover how I might repent and change in my actions towards you. I can only worry about and change myself, and God has given me control over only one person on this planet.

If every Christian read the Bible this way, wouldn't God produce unity through our obedience? If every husband obeyed God’s commands about being the right kind of husband and didn't try to force his wife to be the right kind of wife...if every wife obeyed God by respecting her husband properly...if every brother treated his fellow siblings with love and did not worry about what they did or didn't do for him...what power and change might we see?!

Do you take God's word personally?

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Rom. 12.18)