NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

Ephesians 4.29–32

²⁹ Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ³² Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 5.3–4

³ But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; ⁴ neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

These two verses list many ways we can use our tongues to destroy rather than build, and in them Paul warns against corrupting talk, clamor, slander, filthy talk, foolish talk, and course jesting.

The first set of sins (Eph. 4.29–32) flow from bitter and angry hearts. Our actions follow our heart’s attitude. If we harbor bitterness towards someone, we likely will speak hateful words about them or to them at some point. Evil hearts overflow into evil works.

The second set of sins (Eph. 5.3–4) come from lustful and unclean hearts. Minds saturated in sewage will spew disgusting, disruptive, disturbing speech. Why is potty humor so popular? Why is our gaze so often directed downwards and not upwards? The marriage bed is to be held in honor, but many make it a joke, a punchline, speaking of sex in flippant and irreverent ways.

“To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled” (Titus 1.15).

How do we tackle a profane tongue? How do we raise our speech out of the gutter and onto the highway of holiness? We must direct our hearts to pure and holy things. Instead of angry talk, we should focus on kindness and forgive one another (Eph. 4.32). Instead of filthy talk, we should focus on giving thanks (Eph. 5.4). Imitate God’s character. What would Jesus think, do, and say?

Our speech will always be out of the overflow of our hearts, so we should be directing our hearts to that which is holy, pure, and honorable. May God help us tame our tongues!

Have you ever heard of a church disciplining a covetous man? Paul exposes this sin in 1 Corinthians 5.1: “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife!” Paul told the church to “deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Cor. 5.5). Continuing his instruction, he listed example sins which they should watch out for and said “not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty” of these things:

1. Guilty of Sexual immorality / Fornication
2. Guilty of Covetousness / Greed
3. An Idolater
4. A Reviler
5. A Drunkard
6. A Swindler / Extortioner

He ends with: “Remove the wicked man from among yourselves,” quoting passages in Deuteronomy such as, “Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear” (Deut. 21.21).

Obviously, in the church we are to put no one to death. In fact, the discipline exacted by the assembly is intended, in part, to bring the man back to Christ and to repentance.

But Paul ranks covetousness second on his list right after fornication!

How can you know a man is covetousness? The target of his greed walks past him, and he smiles cordially, nods, shakes hands. Do his eyes glow green? Does his face grow dark? What are the tell-tale signs? According to Paul, we should be able to identify a covetous (greedy) person.

Jesus did say a man who looks upon a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. However, the church does not discipline a man for adultery because he looked at pornography. We might discipline an unashamed and unrepentant porn user for unfaithfulness and lust, though, because lust is a form covetousness, and Paul writes in Colossians 3.5 that covetousness is idolatry.

The point is, however, we must see some external effects of a man’s covetousness before we can mark him, since we cannot read his heart. What signs might we see?

Covetous people tend to talk overly much about other people’s stuff. If someone constantly expresses discontent, wishing he had more money like his neighbor or a better car like his boss or a bigger house like his brother, he is throwing red flags.

Unchecked covetousness leads to ungodly behaviors. In pursuit of stuff, people sacrifice honor and integrity and make risky choices which often puzzle the rest of us. Why would a farmer kill his younger brother and hide his body in the field? Why would a king sleep with the wife of one of his best warriors? Why would a man sell out his teacher for 30 pieces of silver? Why would a man and his wife conspire to lie about how much their property sold for?

Paul equates covetousness and idolatry because greedy people put other things ahead of God. Other things become their gods. Instead of seeking joy, pleasure, and value from their Creator, they seek them in material things or in the accolades of other men. You can even covet other people’s envy! There’s a vicious cycle.

Your true value comes from your Father’s love. True joy comes from God’s kindness. Lasting pleasure is only found in storing up your treasures in heaven. Don’t follow the hollow, fleeting, broken promises of this world. Listen to the Creator of all things and find your contentment in Him. Thou shalt not covet.

These seem on their face to contradict:

1. I am confident I am wrong on some spiritual matters.
2. I am confident I am in relationship with Jesus Christ.

How can I be confident in my relationship with Jesus, confident of my salvation, and also confident I am wrong in some of my Bible understandings?

Actually, I wonder how someone can be otherwise. Would it not be the height of arrogance to think I have every spiritual matter completely figured out? The humble (and realistic) appreciate their finite knowledge and intelligence. Only God is all-wise and all-knowing. Therefore, there must always be room for growth, for adding new information, for adjusting understanding.

Our confidence must never come from ourselves. When we believe our salvation depends on how right we are about things, our salvation becomes dependent upon ourselves. Hear me now—there is an objective right and a wrong, good and evil; it's just that we, as finite men in corrupt flesh, will never fully discern these things. We grow in discernment, learning every day (Lord willing) to more rightly divide the word of truth.

God gives us grace despite our imperfect knowledge. What abundant grace should we give each other, then? Truthfully, we should be strict with ourselves and gracious with one another, but we often get those reversed.

Paul wrote:
 

To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ; to the intent that now the manifold wisdom of God might be made known by the church to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places, according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him. Therefore I ask that you do not lose heart at my tribulations for you, which is your glory. (Eph. 3.8-13)

Where did Paul's confidence come from? It came from Jesus Christ! Paul was fully confident in Jesus' power, Jesus' love, Jesus' accomplishment. Paul placed no confidence in his own work.
 

But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us... (Titus 3.4-5)

We can put up with brothers and sisters who understand Scripture differently than we do. Sure, we must have no disagreement in a few articles of faith, but the "same mind" Paul wanted the brethren to have (1 Cor. 1.10 and Phil. 2.1-4; 4.2) is not an exact oneness of understanding on everything but a oneness of attitude towards God and towards one other. Paul wanted them to have the same mind Jesus had (see Phil. 2.5ff), which was the mind of humble obedience to God.

When we divide from brothers and sisters because we have a different understanding, we may demonstrate a mind which is not consistent with Christ Jesus! Sometimes we must break fellowship with one another for a season...perhaps for longer...but that does not mean we must view each another as lost in sin. Paul and John Mark broke fellowship for a time and couldn't plow together in the same yoke, but only for a season. Neither was spiritually lost.

Have confidence in Jesus Christ. Hold fast that confidence! And love your brothers and sisters who also hold fast that confidence.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Rom. 12.1-2)

Paul connects Romans 12 ("therefore") to the mountain of previous teaching from Romans 1-11. Before he presents what we should do, Paul deals with great theological truths about what God has already done and how we stand in relation to Him because of our faith in Jesus Christ.

Beyond being merely an intellectual exercise, the renewing of our minds includes actually obeying God--doing that which is good and right--which Paul immediately outlines for us in Romans 12.3-15.7. Here's a quick breakdown of what is covered:

1. Don't think of yourself more highly than you ought; evaluate yourself properly (12.3-8)
2. Love genuinely (12.9-13)
3. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep (12.14-21)
4. Subject yourself to the government (13.1-7)
5. Love your neighbor as yourself (13.8-10)
6. Walk properly, as in the daytime (13.11-14)
7. Welcome the weak in faith (14.1-15.7)

Just about all of this has to do with submitting ourselves to others. How do we actually present our lives as living sacrifices to God and renew our minds? We follow Christ's footsteps (see 13.14; 15.1-13) by assuming the lowest place, subjecting ourselves to every ordinance of God, submitting to one another in love, yielding to our enemies, and welcoming brethren with whom we don't see eye to eye.

Once, a friend asked (in light of the "bearing with the weak in faith" from Romans 14), "How can you know who is the weak brother?"

"Whoever the other guy is, that's the weak one," I jokingly replied.

But silliness aside, I'm pretty sure that is not the question God would have us ask, because if we use Romans 14 to start a big row over who is weak and who is strong, does that not divide rather than unify, as Paul insisted upon?

As I read Romans 12-15, God speaks to me, personally. I know He didn't write Romans directly to me, but I should read it as a message from God to me. In other words, I don't read it to figure out how you ought to change in your actions towards me; rather I read to discover how I might repent and change in my actions towards you. I can only worry about and change myself, and God has given me control over only one person on this planet.

If every Christian read the Bible this way, wouldn't God produce unity through our obedience? If every husband obeyed God’s commands about being the right kind of husband and didn't try to force his wife to be the right kind of wife...if every wife obeyed God by respecting her husband properly...if every brother treated his fellow siblings with love and did not worry about what they did or didn't do for him...what power and change might we see?!

Do you take God's word personally?

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Rom. 12.18)

Someone asked me recently, “How many people at your church do you think read their Bibles every day?” I don’t know the answer to that. I hope it’s a pretty high number, but I know it’s not everyone. I also wonder how many of our church family have read the entire Bible all the way through at least once.

One of the best habits I have ever created in my life has been a time of daily Bible reading. I started this habit quite a few years ago using a free iPhone app called YouVersion. The app includes hundreds of guided and tracked Bible reading schedules. The tracking feature helped me lock in my new habit because it knew if I ever skipped a day of reading. As I saw the number of uninterrupted reading days constantly increase, it made me not want to start over. It’s kind of like the “You have been THIS many days without a security failure” sign. You have been THIS many days without missing your daily reading. Once I got up to over 800 days of reading. Pat myself on the back.

One of the keys to starting a new habit is to make it as easy on yourself as possible. If you read from your Bible every day, make sure you always know where it is. That may sound strange, but if it takes you five minutes to locate your Bible, you can start to feel defeated before you even start reading. Set it on your reading table or on its reserved spot on the shelf so you don’t have to think about it when it’s time to read.

Another key to starting a new habit is to anchor that habit to an existing part of your daily schedule. Do you want to read first thing after you get out of bed, after breakfast, at lunchtime, during your first 15-minute break at work, after you get home in the evening, just before bedtime? Pick something  you always do, and plan to read your Bible immediately before, during, or after that event. For instance, I always start my day out with one cup of water and then a cup of coffee. I read my Bible with my cup of coffee. That has become my morning ritual. You may want to read right after you brush your teeth or right after you eat lunch. Make sure you pick something you do every day because if you anchor your Bible reading to an event that you skip now and then, you’ll end up skipping your Bible reading, too.

A third key to starting a new habit is to construct a concrete plan. If you think, “I want to exercise more, and I’ll do it right after my morning coffee” but you don’t clearly plan how you will exercise, you’ll bumble around and waste time. Likewise, without a set Bible reading schedule, you’ll flip around in your Bible, aimless and adrift. You’ll wonder if you’re going about it the best way, which will produce doubt and discouragement. So make a plan. If you choose not to use a digital guide, such as the YouVersion app mentioned above, you should print yourself a daily checklist. For instance, Crossway has a blog post which links to a number of printable plans you can download for free.

I encourage you to start a daily habit of reading holy Scripture. God wants you to hide His word in your heart that it would guide you all the days of your life. The word should be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path. What good is a lamp left on a shelf in your attic? The tool must be used and used often. Paul called the word the sword of the Spirit, and you should never use a weapon you haven’t trained. So train with it! Let me know if I can help you find a plan which would be suitable for you—I’d love to help!

^{Psalm 119.9} How can a young man keep his way pure?
    By guarding it according to your word.
¹⁰ With my whole heart I seek you;
    let me not wander from your commandments!
¹¹ I have stored up your word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against you.
¹² Blessed are you, O Lord;
    teach me your statutes!
¹³ With my lips I declare
    all the rules of your mouth.
¹⁴ In the way of your testimonies I delight
    as much as in all riches.
¹⁵ I will meditate on your precepts
    and fix my eyes on your ways.
¹⁶ I will delight in your statutes;
    I will not forget your word.