NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

The preacher hammers the importance of daily Bible study, and most of the church sits feeling condemned, inadequate, and guilty, because we sure messed that up last week!

It's actually not the study itself, but our failures along the way. We make commitments (or at least have a vague idea of what we ought to do) and end up not fulfilling them. We don't hit our targets, don't actualize our vision, don't work the plan perfectly. And our hearts condemn us.

It's as if we feel God accepts us based on whether or not we hit our daily targets.

I know God wants me to spend time in His word (“a minimum of 15 or 20 minutes a day” is the goal I set for myself), and I never got around to it. And I missed yesterday, too. The days pile fast and guilt grows. I'm failing God, myself, my family, my church. I can't let the church know I'm a failure at this because this is what being a Christian is all about, right? If I'm not in the Bible every day, they might think I'm not really a Christian—or at least not a serious one. I'll tell everyone else they should be reading the Bible every day, I'll put on a face like I'm getting it done, and I'll continue to feel bad every week when I don't make it.

Have you ever felt this way?

Trade Law for Grace!

We feel like this when we see ourselves as under law. When we don't understand why Jesus died for us, we can get the idea that God is pleased with us only when we have our act together and displeased when we don't get “enough” works in—as if our works keep us holy and in His grace.

Get this, Brothers and Sisters: as many of you as have been baptized have put on Christ, you are one in Christ Jesus, and you are sons of God through faith (Galatians 3.26–4.7). Because you are sons, you are heirs alongside the Son, Jesus. You inherit eternal fellowship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! God adopted you into His family while you were spiritually immature and broken--and He continues to cover you by the blood of His Son while you grow in Christ. You have freedom in God's house even while you are not perfect! God does not accept you on the basis of what you do for Him, but on the basis of what Jesus Christ has already done on the cross. Nothing you do for God now will make you more holy, more righteous, more acceptable to Him—you are totally accepted right now in Christ Jesus!

So don't feel condemned and guilty when you don't get the works perfect. Keep loving God; keep loving your neighbor; keep loving your family. Keep striving to know and understand more. You have not fallen out of God's favor when you fail.

In God's grace is an amazing freedom—including the freedom to fail and keep right on going. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8.1).

Being under a heartless law system stifles growth and kills the spirit. But being under the grace of a kind and loving God provides and promotes an attitude of steady joy in the face of all our failures. I hope you and I forever revel in that joy!

Interestingly, those with this biblical understanding of grace find their Bible study becomes even more frequent and fruitful!

Our country experienced a “sexual revolution” in the 60s and 70s. Young hedonists rebelled against parental and societal guidance, pushing norms of morality several steps down the line. “Make love, not war,” they said, blending sex and love, which are not the same thing.

Obviously, this butted right up against the church and the teachings of the Lord, so the free-love movement was an anti-religion movement. Religion was the reason why parents were so stiff and unyielding and wanted to keep the pleasures of sex away from their children.

Over a fairly short period of time, the societal shame of unmarried couples “shacking up” diminished. Used to be, people would blush if they talked about an unmarried girl living with a guy, but no one bats an eye now.

Television shows and movies glamorized the sex act. Big-screen heroes did it with whoever they happened to be with on their current adventure: James Bond, Indiana Jones, etc.

Today the envelope has been pushed so far that same-sex coupling has become normal, and some of the most crass and perverted acts are discussed openly as if anything and everything is acceptable.

The contraceptive industry rakes in billions of dollars. We have statistics on teenager contraceptive usage in the United States…because teen sex is generally accepted. The abortion industry continues to kill millions of pre-born children. They want the sex but not the natural result.

Our cultural leaders inform us our sexual orientation is a majorly important characteristic, and we are constantly encouraged to go public with it. The number of those who identify as LGBT has greatly increased over the past few years. Think about that—our identities are being boiled down to who we like to have sex with.

Are Folks Content?

How is this hyper-sexualization working for the country? Do people seem happier because of it? Are they more content? Are they feeling fulfilled in their relationships?

This article reports that 1 in 4 women in the United States reports “completed or attempted rape victimization at some point in her lifetime.”

Seventeen percent of adolescents in 2020 experienced a major depression episode, a period of at least 2 weeks of serious depression.

Suicide rates are extremely high, and have increased 30% from 2000 to 2018, declining slightly in 2019 and 2020, according to the CDC. A CDC website header states, “Suicide is a leading cause of death.”

Inarguably, society has become a mess of misery and disfunction. People are not happy, not fulfilled, not content. Talk of euthanasia and doctor-assisted suicide is heating up. Canada has plowed well down that path already.

Of course, sex is not the only issue, but it sure is staring everyone right in the face.

Faithful, Married Couples Have the Best Sex

Most who are in faithful, married relationships will agree: the sexual life of the married is far superior to those not committed to a spouse or who sleep around.

Christians know this is because God created man and woman, marriage, and sex. God designed marriage to be much deeper than the sexual act itself. It’s about intimacy with a life-long, trusted, loving partner. It’s about total commitment to faithfulness. It’s about not being alone. The Christian husband sees his wife as his only source of sexual pleasure, and she knows she’s his one and only. She feels secure in the relationship. Both enjoy fulfillment because of their mutual commitment.

Think of marriage as a garden God prepared for you. There is so much beauty, pleasure, and joy to be found in this garden. Other gardens exist out there, but this is the one God prepared for you. God said to stay inside the fence—but you can enjoy everything inside the fence, which is quite a lot if you would just focus on your own garden and put down the binoculars you’ve been using to search around for other gardens. Satan whispers about the greener grass on the other side of God’s fence. Indeed, there are pleasures to be found out there, for sure, but they will kill you in the end, draining your life and losing forever the true joys God had prepared for you in your own garden.

What Does God Say about Sex?

Positively, one of the first statements about sex in the Bible is with Adam and Eve: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2.24). Becoming “one flesh” includes the concept of coming together sexually because Paul tells the Christians in Corinth, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Corinthians 6.13-16).

Two of the Ten Commandments talk about sex: “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

Speaking on the purity and sanctity of marriage, the Hebrew author writes, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13.4).

“Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband,” Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7.2. Sexual immorality is any sexual activity with someone to whom you are not married. If you are single, God forbids you from having sex with anyone, because you must be married to your sexual partner. If you are married, God has blessed you with the one to whom you must be faithful. Paul continues:

“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7.3-5).

Love and Respect and the Gospel

God did not create marriage solely for the sexual aspect—no, the world has limited our vision and gotten us to think so much about the sexual aspect that we can easily lose sight of the deeper and greater gifts inside of this most intimate of relationships.

Husband, you are to love your wife as Christ loves His bride, the Church.

Wife, you are to respect your husband as your head.

Husband, you are to learn your wife and honor her as a weaker vessel and as a fellow heir of the grace of life.

Wife, you are to submit to your husband’s leadership and love your husband and children.

If husband and wife both serve one another in these ways, we become a real reflection of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5.22-33). The Christian marriage becomes a way of showing the gospel of Christ to the world. Why be faithful to an imperfect wife? Because Christ is faithful to His imperfect bride. Why submit to a husband even when it’s hard? Because Christ submitted himself to His Father even when it took Him to the cross (1 Peter 2.21–3.1).

Tend your own garden and reap the fruit God has prepared for you.

“Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.”

Do we really abhor evil? We know lusting is evil, but do we abhor it? First John 2:1 says, “if anyone sins, we
have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous,” so is okay to sin because we can be forgiven?
Paul said, “Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to
sin still live in it?” (Rom. 6:1-2) Sin is never okay! God’s children should abhor everything that is sin. If we
say we love God yet still practice sin, we are lying and the truth is not in us. We are guilty of hypocrisy.
Christians grab hold of the good.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor”

We can give preference grudgingly. Haman gave preference to Mordecai, but only because he was forced. We
can also give preference with ulterior motives. Have you ever thought about trying to be humble? Can a man’s
goal for the year be to become the most humble person among the brethren at church? That kind of defeats the
purpose! Sometimes we fake humility so people will think we are something…when we are still full of pride.
God is calling us to be truly devoted to one another and to truly give one another honor. Let it be without
hypocrisy.

“not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord”

Hypocrisy in this realm looks like laziness. An associate of mine once showed me he had a video camera
positioned so he could view his employees in a different room. Apparently, they did not know the camera was
there. One day he said, “Watch this.” I looked at the video, and the four ladies on the screen were sitting around
and chatting. He told me to keep watching as he walked over to their room. In a second I could tell he had
walked in because they all-of-a-sudden began a flurry of activity! Are we like this with God’s work sometimes?
Are we only busy with His work when we think people are watching? Perhaps should remind ourselves He is
always watching. Let our work for the Lord be without hypocrisy—let’s always be busy with His work, because
it’s what He has given us to do.

“rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer”

We could be hypocritical in our daily walks. Have we ever gone through a check-out line at the grocery store,
Wal-Mart, or a fast-food joint and been rude to the cashier? Have we complained or murmured in front of our
kids, spouse, neighbors, coworkers, or brethren? These attitudes are hypocritical for a child of the eternal God!
What joy we should exude! What hope! What perseverance! We should carry a constant prayerful attitude—an
attitude of thanksgiving to God for our abundant blessings. Christians should be the most joyful of all.

“contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality”

Can we find hypocrisy in our hospitality? Do we invite people in our homes because we feel obligated? Do we
complain before they come (“I shouldn’t have invited anyone tonight because I am just stretched too thin right
now…”)? Do we complain after they leave (“Great, now the house is a mess again, and I have all these dishes
to do…”)? To love without hypocrisy is to put others above ourselves. If we could view each other as more
important than ourselves, we won’t have a problem helping each other or having each other in our homes. In
fact, we will jump at the opportunity to serve someone so great!

Let love be without hypocrisy.