NORTHSHORE CHURCH OF CHRIST

Am I happy because of the security and wealth I have? Am I happy because of the things I do, the pleasures I enjoy, the food I eat, the clothing I wear, etc.? All these things can make me briefly happy, but pleasure is fleeting.

Your definition of success greatly affects your happiness and contentedness during your short stint on earth.

The "American dream" is about money and comfort. Is that success? Our Constitution guarantees us the right to pursue happiness, but it doesn't bother defining it. Most seem to think owning property produces happiness; therefore, to maximize happiness you should maximize the amount of stuff you own.

Not true!

Just look at how many winners of life's lottery still suffer severe depression, anger, hopelessness. Substance abuse remains rampant among the wealthy, just as it does among the poor. Being filthy rich doesn't protect marriages, as many of the world's rich and famous are famous for philandering, cheating, and divorcing.

Since money obviously does not guarantee happiness, we shouldn't define success by riches. I appreciate Dave Ramsey on many levels, but he often seems to equate "winning" with the amount of cash a person has. "Cash is king." He encourages making major sacrifices now to have millions later. He talks of years of rice and beans, beans and rice; live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else. Change the family tree.

For what purpose? Will those millions make me or my family happier down the road?

Why should I change my family tree in this way? Why should I leave millions to my children? Is this really the focus and goal God has for me and my family?

On the one hand,

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children,
But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. (Prov. 13.22)

He who tills his land will have plenty of bread,
But he who follows frivolity will have poverty enough! (Prov. 28.19)

On the other hand,

There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing;
And one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches. (Prov. 13.7)

Better is a little with righteousness,
Than vast revenues without justice. (Prov. 16.8)

Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting with strife. (Prov. 17.1)

He who trusts in his riches will fall,
But the righteous will flourish like foliage. (Prov. 11.28)

What if, instead of earthly riches, I give my family a strong work ethic? What if I teach them to love their neighbor as themselves? What if I teach them to take care of widows and orphans in their distress? What if I leave a legacy of peace and fellowship?

What if my family lives within their means but never becomes rich or powerful? Can they still find happiness?

What if I teach them to give away their money and trust God to take care of them and continue to fill their needs?

Jesus says:

"Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fill, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Luke 12.32-34)

Success, for the child of God, is a life filled with hope, love, faithfulness, and quietness. A contented man is successful.

As a wise man once prayed:

Give me neither poverty nor riches--
Feed me with the food allotted to me;
Lest I be full and deny You,
And say, "Who is the LORD?"
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God. (Prov. 30.8-9)

She opened her eyes to the sound of her phone alarm, stabbed a finger at the off button, and stared bleary-eyed at the ceiling. The faithful sun was filtering softly through her bedroom curtains. If only she could just enjoy the morning, she thought, but children would be needing breakfast soon, leftover dishes in the sink would not wash themselves, today was laundry day, and she had wanted to clean the garage. She also needed to prepare to teach a kid’s Bible class that evening.

He opened his eyes to the sound of his phone alarm, stabbed a finger at the off button, and stared bleary-eyed at the ceiling. The sun had faithfully risen again in the east, peeking through his window blinds. If only he could just enjoy the morning, he thought, but he had to be at work at 8:00 sharp, the boss was planning a working lunch today, and he had to return home in time to eat and take his family to Wednesday evening Bible classes at the church.

With a sigh he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, shoulders hunched for a couple of seconds, willing himself to start moving. His wife usually had coffee going. He’d drink a cup, and the day would progress, as it always did…every day similar to the last.

We sometimes think our plans are small and our days are insignificant. What did I do today that was worthwhile, lasting, enduring? What will I do tomorrow that will be a game-changer?

Take heart! God has not called us to be significant. He called us to be faithful. Over time, we discover that being faithful is significant.

What does God expect of us, and for what purpose has He designed us? One of the prophets, Micah, wrote this: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6.8) The wisest of the wise, Solomon, wrote: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12.13).

Jesus does not teach us how to become world leaders, though some will be (Daniel, David, Joseph, etc.). He does not teach us how to run massive businesses or become social icons or rub shoulders with movers and shakers. He just calls us to be faithful wherever we happen to be. God empowers us and “apportions to each one individually as He wills” (1 Corinthians 12.11). We have “gifts that differ according to the grace given to us” (Romans 12.6), and God calls us to use whatever gifts He has granted to serve Him and serve others.

The Christian who finds himself with social or political power still considers himself a servant, because a servant is the highest office in the kingdom. Jesus, the ultimate servant, taught His disciples in Mark 9.35, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” In Mark 10.42-45, He said:

“You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

If Jesus wants me to serve—like that is my main objective here—that helps me understand what is truly important and relieves me of a lot of pressure! Some martial artists call a multiple attacker situation a “target rich environment.” Don’t dwell on the fact that your attackers have more weapons (hands, feet, etc.) than you; focus on all the targets you have. I’m not sure if that illustration will hit home with everyone, but the point is it’s a mindset issue. Flip the script, as they say. If we continue to focus on how inconsequential and insignificant our day-to-day business is, we can easily become depressed and feel we are losing whatever race we think we are in. But if we recognize the value Jesus places in a cup of cold water given to a little one (Matthew 10.42) or in receiving our meals with thanksgiving, then we will understand the great consequence and significance in all our everyday, little things.

When my wife hands me a cup of coffee, she does something wonderful. When she takes time to drive one of the kids to an activity that will help him grow and mature, she is working in the kingdom. When I bring some flowers home to my wife, I demonstrate love. When I wash the dishes, I bless my family. When I finish a hard day of super-normal work, but I put in honest effort and worked as if I were working for the Lord and not for men, I glorify God.

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10.31).

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3.17).

She opened her eyes to the sound of her phone alarm, stabbed a finger at the off button, and stared bleary-eyed at the ceiling. The faithful sun was filtering softly through her bedroom curtains. She knew she had a lot of things on her plate for the day, and she probably would discover two or three unplanned items, but this was a day the Lord had made. She would be glad and rejoice in it.

He opened his eyes to the sound of his phone alarm, stabbed a finger at the off button, and stared bleary-eyed at the ceiling. The sun had faithfully risen again in the east, peeking through his window blinds. The boss had plans for him today, and his family needed his attention, just like every day. “Dear God,” he prayed, “I thank you in advance for the blessings of this day. Please help me serve well.”

Our country experienced a “sexual revolution” in the 60s and 70s. Young hedonists rebelled against parental and societal guidance, pushing norms of morality several steps down the line. “Make love, not war,” they said, blending sex and love, which are not the same thing.

Obviously, this butted right up against the church and the teachings of the Lord, so the free-love movement was an anti-religion movement. Religion was the reason why parents were so stiff and unyielding and wanted to keep the pleasures of sex away from their children.

Over a fairly short period of time, the societal shame of unmarried couples “shacking up” diminished. Used to be, people would blush if they talked about an unmarried girl living with a guy, but no one bats an eye now.

Television shows and movies glamorized the sex act. Big-screen heroes did it with whoever they happened to be with on their current adventure: James Bond, Indiana Jones, etc.

Today the envelope has been pushed so far that same-sex coupling has become normal, and some of the most crass and perverted acts are discussed openly as if anything and everything is acceptable.

The contraceptive industry rakes in billions of dollars. We have statistics on teenager contraceptive usage in the United States…because teen sex is generally accepted. The abortion industry continues to kill millions of pre-born children. They want the sex but not the natural result.

Our cultural leaders inform us our sexual orientation is a majorly important characteristic, and we are constantly encouraged to go public with it. The number of those who identify as LGBT has greatly increased over the past few years. Think about that—our identities are being boiled down to who we like to have sex with.

Are Folks Content?

How is this hyper-sexualization working for the country? Do people seem happier because of it? Are they more content? Are they feeling fulfilled in their relationships?

This article reports that 1 in 4 women in the United States reports “completed or attempted rape victimization at some point in her lifetime.”

Seventeen percent of adolescents in 2020 experienced a major depression episode, a period of at least 2 weeks of serious depression.

Suicide rates are extremely high, and have increased 30% from 2000 to 2018, declining slightly in 2019 and 2020, according to the CDC. A CDC website header states, “Suicide is a leading cause of death.”

Inarguably, society has become a mess of misery and disfunction. People are not happy, not fulfilled, not content. Talk of euthanasia and doctor-assisted suicide is heating up. Canada has plowed well down that path already.

Of course, sex is not the only issue, but it sure is staring everyone right in the face.

Faithful, Married Couples Have the Best Sex

Most who are in faithful, married relationships will agree: the sexual life of the married is far superior to those not committed to a spouse or who sleep around.

Christians know this is because God created man and woman, marriage, and sex. God designed marriage to be much deeper than the sexual act itself. It’s about intimacy with a life-long, trusted, loving partner. It’s about total commitment to faithfulness. It’s about not being alone. The Christian husband sees his wife as his only source of sexual pleasure, and she knows she’s his one and only. She feels secure in the relationship. Both enjoy fulfillment because of their mutual commitment.

Think of marriage as a garden God prepared for you. There is so much beauty, pleasure, and joy to be found in this garden. Other gardens exist out there, but this is the one God prepared for you. God said to stay inside the fence—but you can enjoy everything inside the fence, which is quite a lot if you would just focus on your own garden and put down the binoculars you’ve been using to search around for other gardens. Satan whispers about the greener grass on the other side of God’s fence. Indeed, there are pleasures to be found out there, for sure, but they will kill you in the end, draining your life and losing forever the true joys God had prepared for you in your own garden.

What Does God Say about Sex?

Positively, one of the first statements about sex in the Bible is with Adam and Eve: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2.24). Becoming “one flesh” includes the concept of coming together sexually because Paul tells the Christians in Corinth, “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1 Corinthians 6.13-16).

Two of the Ten Commandments talk about sex: “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

Speaking on the purity and sanctity of marriage, the Hebrew author writes, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13.4).

“Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband,” Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7.2. Sexual immorality is any sexual activity with someone to whom you are not married. If you are single, God forbids you from having sex with anyone, because you must be married to your sexual partner. If you are married, God has blessed you with the one to whom you must be faithful. Paul continues:

“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7.3-5).

Love and Respect and the Gospel

God did not create marriage solely for the sexual aspect—no, the world has limited our vision and gotten us to think so much about the sexual aspect that we can easily lose sight of the deeper and greater gifts inside of this most intimate of relationships.

Husband, you are to love your wife as Christ loves His bride, the Church.

Wife, you are to respect your husband as your head.

Husband, you are to learn your wife and honor her as a weaker vessel and as a fellow heir of the grace of life.

Wife, you are to submit to your husband’s leadership and love your husband and children.

If husband and wife both serve one another in these ways, we become a real reflection of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5.22-33). The Christian marriage becomes a way of showing the gospel of Christ to the world. Why be faithful to an imperfect wife? Because Christ is faithful to His imperfect bride. Why submit to a husband even when it’s hard? Because Christ submitted himself to His Father even when it took Him to the cross (1 Peter 2.21–3.1).

Tend your own garden and reap the fruit God has prepared for you.